Ray-Bans in the Office

This morning I was in my boss' office with a few other colleagues. As the discussion went on I started to disengage and drift. I had learned from onlookers that I can be pretty darn obvious when I disengage. I usually mask it very well, by periodically nodding, willing myself to look at the subject talking and not look through the person and generate some form of facial expression to indicate my level of alertness on the Glasgow Coma Scale. My drifting stopped when a friend PS messaged me:

PS: R u very afraid of the sun?
Me: Why?
PS: My friend's company is looking for someone to do corporate sustainability. Liaise with greenpeace n wwf. But becoz it's dealing in palm oil u will have to be visiting plantations very often in the hot sun
Me: Yes, I'm very interested
PS: U don't seem like the rugged type
Me: i'm trained in unarmed combat, close-quarter combat, frontline medical aid, night and day offensive mission
PS: can u send me your CV then

I send the text conversation to another friend Jio once I got back to my desk. She shared her enthusiasm:

Jo: bwahahahahahahahahah knn all lies "i'm trained in unarmed combat, close-quarter combat, frontline medical aid, night and day offensive mission" made it sound like you are super outdoorsy type
Me: hahahhahahah i was infantry. but yeah, wrote like i'm delta force
Jo: hahhahahah your friend has good reason to doubt
Me: hahhahahaha i know
Jo: it's hard to keep a straight face reading

At lunchtime I put on my Ray-Ban aviators and I feel my neck, ears, hands, really just any exposed part of me, get scorched by the sun as I cross the road. Back at my desk where I still feel the back of my neck burning, I email PS my CV and then I lean back, tilt my head up and close my eyes. But the fluorescent lights are harsh and unflattering. So I put on my Ray-Bans and imagine I'm chilling in some Mediterranean place like San Marino. Or maybe San Sebastian in Spain. Of course I don't imagine myself under direct sunlight so I vision myself on a shaded hotel balcony. There's a plate of fresh fruits, a pot of tea and a bottle of still mineral water on the table. And I slouch down in the chair, drape one arm over the next chair, and take a drag of my Davidoff cigarette.